Reducing post-divorce conflict for the betterment of the children ...

When parents divorce the decision obviously affects more than the two individuals making the legal decision. The concerns of children are often more at the center of divorce than the individual concerns of parents and rightfully so. Experts in psychology and family therapy say children of divorce can thrive, but one factor may be the best predictor of how children of divorce will fare -- parental conflict.

One study says the intensity of conflict between divorced parents is one of the best indicators of how children will do after a divorce. It has been shown that children of divorce who feel their loyalties stretched between parents are the least well off after divorce. Parents should try to minimize conflict and should not talk poorly of one another in front of the children or to the children. One family therapist suggests that parents should think of their duties to co-parent as a business. Each parent should treat the other like a colleague or client.

Conflict management is one part of a philosophy called the Five Cs that protects children from the emotional damage that divorce can create. Each parent should also remain close to their children no matter what the new living arrangements may be. Children who are close with their parents after divorce are better off than children who do not have close relationships with their parents. Parents can maintain their degree of closeness through everyday activities like helping with homework, getting ready for bed and going to the park. Next time we will continue the discussion.

Source: The Wall Street Journal, "The child-focused divorce," Elizabeth Bernstein, Sept. 6, 2011

Source: http://www.colorado-divorce-attorneys.com/2011/09/reducing-post-divorce-conflict-for-the-betterment-of-the-children---part-1.shtml

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